Captain America: The First Badass.

Well, the next Summer blockbuster is up.

God, how does that not look awesome?

Short version of the review: I recommend it. Long version of the review: Below.

If you saw Ironman 1&2 and Thor, I would recommend you see this. If you plan on seeing the Avengers film next year, you have no goddamn reason to skip this movie. Otherwise you are missing the point itself. In fact, a piece of the major plot revolves around the very-shiny-and-mysterious cuboid seen in the post-credits scene of Thor. 

Yeah, that thing. The Cosmic Cube. Have they flat-out said what this thing can do? I don't think the Captain America movie even knew what it was all about. 

Now, time to prod this movie with a mocking stick. Also, look out for some spoilers below. I won't be descrete about this. The movie starts with Steve Rogers doing his thing; trying to fight for his US of the America. Some character exposition happens, some more things, and then we are introduced to his best-friend-and-eventually-sidekickish friend Bucky. Sorry girls, he doesn't wear a domino mask in this movie and he isn't 14. More character exposition happens, bla bla bla, just sit back and enjoy.

Then comes the super soldier treatment. In every commercial I have seen for this movie up until it's opening, we see Rogers actually grow inside the giant metal taning bed, which was a really nice touch. It showed progression into the man he would become. Instead, we get blinding light and then he steps out all big-blonge-and-beautiful. Mm. 

Small thing that bothered me: they said that they were going to apply some serum to all of his major muscle groups. Then they only apply it to his biceps. Why didn't he walk out looking like a Tank from Left 4 Dead? A major hulk above the waist, and a tiny scarecrow of a man below. 

After all of this, other things happen. A nice chase scene with only one car involved, Nazi submarines and more. The good stuff. A little humor in there too; which I love. There was a nice little bit where Rogers was chasing down a car using his Adonis-body-from-five-minutes-ago, and he is so unfamiliar with his new form he accidentally turns too hard and crashes into a building. Brilliant. 

Bla bla bla. More stuff happens. Captain America gets three costumes in this movie, all of which are either ridiculously hilarious or down-right badass. Though, to be fair, the second is really a composite of the first and some stolen military gear. 

Then some shields happen, and the rest of the movie spends 40% of the screen time with that damn thing in the screen. 

Then he gets a badass motorcycle that does some tricky-awesome things straight out of Twisted Metal.

Damn, I need to wrap this up. Uh.

Hydra was awesome. Instead of just being a straight parallel to the Nazi army, they are the super devious research and development branch of the Nazi regime that eventually spirals out of control. Their weapons are devastating  and everything has a nice blue neon trim. Though their salute is downright humorous. 

Then Captain America and his rag-tag group of mercinary-soldiers of fortune crash the party and look damn good doing it. However, this is all in montage. I guess the videogames can pick up that slack, but damn, I would have loved to see them crush even more Nazi heads. 

Also more shield. 

Then more character development, some credits roll, and you see pure Marvel magik.

I misspelled that correctly, yes. 

Here is my theory for why everyone loves this: Steve Rogers represents the typical, under-physically-developed fan who wishes they were as big and strong as their favorite heroes. Instead of going to the gym and working up to that stature, Rogers gets it within a span of five minutes. Who wouldn't want that? What a slacker. 

Here is a link to my quick and thorough review of the movie on youtube.

Hm, I probably should have posted this first.

Like, comment and subscribe. It grows the brand. http://www.youtube.com/Heiru3

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Oh, also. Best character in the movie: A young and suave Howard Stark.

What a majestic stache.

READ MORE - Captain America: The First Badass.

Class is in attendance.

How could I possibly forget to make a review of X-Men: First Class?

Oh yeah, finals. That's why. So shut up.

If you don't want to read this, I have a video summary on my youtube page here. And here:

Basically, I enjoyed this movie. I laughed. I loved. I had one or two emotions throughout.
Michael Fassbender as Erik / Magneto was amazing. Paired with James McAvoy as Xavier, you have a winning combination  If only they were the only two characters in the film, then maybe things would have been more impressive  Sadly not.

The students/mutants they recruited were... interesting. Banshee was a must-have, so kudos to that. Havok? Clearly an allusion to Cyclops who was actually a member of the first class in the comics, but due to continuity they couldnt' have Cyc in the movie. (Even though they broke some continuity later on.)

Angel was also an original member; remember that winged dude in X3? Yeah, that was the original Angel. Instead they took a pixie-stripper and slapped the same name on her. Who would know, right?

Also, Mystique was hot. Not the blue-stique, but the actress who played the human disguise. Jennifer Lawrenece:

A lovely girl.

As for the rest of the movie, it was fun. It wasn't too serious, it wasn't even too good, but it felt pretty darn 60's and light hearted.

Also, the montages. Oooh, the montages. So fun. So good. Excellent cameo in there as well.

Anyway, I am drunk and must go get drunker. Go see the movie. See you next time when I talk about Green Lantern.

Though on a final note, why bother sticking to some continuity of you're going to kill more of it towards the end? Whatever. Fox can't make a movie like Marvel Studios can.

P.S., don't bother staying through the credits. Nothing to see at the end.

READ MORE - Class is in attendance.

The God of Thunder.

I saw the midnight release of the Thor movie, which is now out in most theaters.

Long review short, I enjoyed it. I didn't fall in love with it like I did Ironman, and I didn't detest it. Perhaps I am biased. I am a superhero fan, and would most likely have a somewhat lower opinion if I was not.

Though, as I said, I enjoyed it. I was entertained. Ultimately that is the point of movies.
There was plenty of action, plenty of laughs, and enough special effects to make you say "whoa, what the shit" repeatedly. Although the camera movement was a little too fast for my taste, blurring out a good portion of the fight scenes.

Also eye candy. Mostly for the women, but still. They give you Natalie Portman, so stop complaining. Honestly, her acting could have been much worse. I guess that's a high point?
The movie throws you in at a comfortable starting point, and introduces the characters and backstory at a relative pace. You don't have to be a comic fan to understand what's going on, which is exactly what they were going for.

Then you get some cool fighting scenes, with giant face-lasers, a giant ice-themed Rancor and a bunch of blue people from Avatar.

[If you want to keep the movie a surprise, I would stop reading about here.]

After that some plot is thrown your way, and Thor is exiled to Earth (a.k.a Midgard). For a day. This is ridiculous to me; after a couple thousand years being Thor, the god of thunder who has had dozens of lifetimes to develop a concrete persona, he becomes a humble man and changes his outlook. It must have been something at that Denny's diner. Probably the pancakes. Or maybe Natalie Portman as Jane Foster is just that hot. (Hint: no.) He probably fell in love with the bars. I have no apathy for New Mexico. Not even people who live there are fond of it! So why would Thor?

Ultimately, if you have the $10 to shell out for a movie, I would say go for it. Did you seen Ironman? The sequel? Yes? Good. Then you will enjoy this, and you will most likely enjoy the upcoming Captain America movie.

Now that is what I am excited about.

READ MORE - The God of Thunder.